Faith and Action

“Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead” (James 2:17; NIV)

I came upon the above Bible quote on Twitter, and it got me thinking about the church and an activity that I have been involved in with over the last few months.

I am in a congregation that is really dead, and the diocese needs to force to convert into a mission. Week after week Faith is talked about, but when it comes to action it really fails, which is sad. I find a number of times the clergy person doesn't practice what is preached. Tells on one thing, than does the complete opposite. The Clergy person does not support those who wish to do something, unless it is something that benefits him, but let me get to talking about Faith and Action.

I think that Faith is something that is easy for anyone to have, and in reality we all have Faith. Think about it, I am sure that you can't think of a single person in the world who has Faith in one way or another. Really, think about it. We get into a car or plane to go somewhere, and we have Faith that we will arrive to our destination safely. We put food into our mouth to eat, and we have faith that it will not kill us. We have Faith in so many many things, so to say that we don't have Faith is something that we really can't say.

But Faith without action in many things is truly dead. In this diocese we have a thing that we call Area Ministry. Now trying to really describe what Area Ministry is is difficult, as if you were to ask 10 people what it is, they will all tell you different things for the most part. But yet it works in a way that everyone does it and doesn't really realize it. It's not just a Christian thing to do, it's a human thing to do.

Several years ago when Area Ministry was first brought out to the people, someone from another congregation here contacted me and invited me to a series of events that her parish was doing, and they wanted it to be the beginning of the two congregations doing Area Ministry together. Now in the congregation I am in, the words Area Ministry had not been mentioned at all, but I was aware of it in the diocese. During the announcements the following Sunday, I stood before the people and spoke about what had been asked of me and extended the invitation. Well, the only person to go was myself. An idea was brought up in that all of the vestries of the congregations in Oakland should get together. About 7 months later, after I had mentioned what had been brought up the pastor of my congregation used the words “Area Ministry” to the congregation. Finally, after all of this time he bothered to mention it. It was desided to get the vestries together. All fo the vestries did, and Area Ministry was the topic, and it was decided that it was something that we were going to do. Sadly after 4 or 5 meetings, things fell apart. The Faith was there to do it, but there was no Action.

About two months ago I got an e-mail from a friend of mine at another congregation asking me if I would be interested in joining with some other people from different congregations in getting involved in doing some work within the community. After watching what had happened with the Area Ministry, I had my doubts about it working, but something in my told me to have Faith as Actions would occur.

About 8 of us gathered and spent some time talking. We spoke about the different ministires that each of our congregations were doing, and the indivisual ministries that we were doing. The something happened, and we came up with Actions. Not only had we decided upon things that we were going to do and get involved with, but a commitment to action had occurred.

Not only had the commitment to actions occurred, but things have actually taken place, with the one that most people in the congregations knowing about lunches being made and passed out to the Day Workers in an area here in Oakland. It's not only lunches, but the rector of St. Paul's has written notes that were included, but things like sock and hand santizers were also.

It's amazing the things that occur when we put our faith into action. I remember listening to someone who is now a Deacon in the church talk about a jail ministry he was involved in. He talked about it's beginnings and the stuggle, then he told a story which was just amazing. Him and others would go to the city jail several times a month with tape recorders, children's books and envelopes. They would sit with women who are parents of small children and the parent would read the story into the story. The book and the tape would be put into an envelope and tehn sent to the child. There was a woman who would never come into the room, but would watch. After watching a few times, she came in and did one. Nobody had bothered to come and visit her, as it was a cultural thing in her culture not to visit even ones family who was in jail, but she finally went about the action of doing one. Her child got the package, and the family sat together and listened to it. it became a thing to do whenever one would arrive, where the family would have dinner together and then sit and listen to the tape. Because of the actions that had occurred, the family came and visited her.

I was watching a video on YouTube called “Shopping While Black”. One of the things that I have expereinced is being followed in stores and even told what I do and do not like. This has happened in all size stores. One of the things that was interesting was it was done by a news program. The managed to find a store that was willing to permit an experiment to occur. A Black woman went into the store and a store clerk (an actress) treated her real bad because of her color. The experiment was to see what would happen when it came to the other shoppers. It was amazing how the other shoppers failed to step into action to defend this woman who hadn't done anything wrong. we all talk about the things that we would do in a situation, but it is interesting in that we don't step into action in reality.

I also think about a woman that I am a fan of named Lorielle New. Lorielle does a live webcam show Monday through Fridays. It appears that many of the people who come to her show are guys who lust after her. Me, Yes she is a beautiful lady, but that isn't why I come to her show. Lorielle is a woman who has dreamed of having success in Hollywood. Now I am not sure at what level success she desires (A-List, Tome Cruise level,) or being someone who does a starring role from time to time, but wants to be known as a great character actor. Lorielle did some acting in another state, then took a Leap of Faith and moved to Hollywood, Ca. Of what I know of the industry, many people go there seeking fame and fortune, but never really do the actions that it takes. Lorielle is one of those who not only has taken that Leep of Faith, but she has gone into Action in that she really hasn't relied on just agents to get her auditions, but has done the work to get them. Her success hasn't been that great in the level she has reached, but she goes out and seeks work. I haven't asked her (if I ever remember, one of these days I will,) but I don't think that he has had to do a “civilian” job since she has gotten there. I hear of others who are waiters, secretaries, and so forth, but Lorielle has managed to get enough work to be able to pay her bills, etc. She has starred in a film, done tv, done movies, done music videos, and other things, but most importantly she has not only had the Faith it takes to survive, has is doing the Actions that it take to survive.

If you look at the life of Jesus and the things that he did, you will realize that he was a person of action. He could of easily just sat around and let people die or remain unhealed of things, but he didn't. I really wonder what Jesus is thinking now about the people who claim to have Faith in him? Is Jesus upset that we fail to act in many ways towards the injustices that are done in this world? Think about your won actions. What calls to actions have you and do you ignor? Could your congregation be getting grants towards improvements and programs because you fail to move into action at getting them? In what other areas of your life could your actions useful?

To the person who asked me if my Pastor has ever apologized to me when he failed to give me the credit due me for work that I did? I'm still waiting for him to apologize. he has given me a number of excuses, but saying the words “I'm Sorry, what I did was wrong” has never coem out of his mouth. I fins it sad, as he appears to be able to apologize for anything that he has done wrong. As things go on and I look back, when it comes to me he has major problems. I sometimes wonder how he will answer to God when asked why he has been so inable to do the right and proper thing. He's going to have to answer to his actions. talking around the issue or trying to avoid it isn't going to work with God. At times I think about an episode of the show Red Dwarf where the characters had to justify their existence. The thing with it is that the person judging them was themselves. As I sit and watch only 2 or maybe 3 people sit in the pews on Sundays, I just shack my head knowing that what could be a great congregation doesn't exist because he has driven people who have tried to lead away from it. Do I think that he will ever apologize? Maybe one day he will, but I expect that he will also include a bunch of excuses with it. It's like I asked him a couple of months ago if we would be also buying copies of “Lift Every Voice and Sing II” at the same time that we get some new Spanish hymnal so that the Blacks in the congregation don't feel as though we are being put into the back of the bus again. He responded with we would have to raise money for it. Now I know that the raising of money for it will not happen, and he will get the vestry to buy only the Spanish hymnal, and if LEVIS II is brought up that he will have some excuse as why we shouldn't buy an equal number of it (or any at all,) at the same time. He still hasn't taken the time off that the Vestry said that he had to take over a year ago. It's sad to watch. But him saying an apology is something that I am sure will never happen, so I have put it into the hands of God, and will let God deal with him.

Forever in Christ

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Who Is Jesus To Me?

I find this question to be really interesting, and one that I feel most people really don't seriously think about. We have people who attend seminaries and other religious schools who will give you and academic answer to this question, but this isn't a question that any school can teach and give and answer to, as who Jesus is to each person is different. You see, the real answer to the question is what is in your heart, and since we all don't have the same heart, then the answer can not be exactly the same for everyone.

Now the church is very good at telling you who Jesus is and about the life that Jesus lead in his humanly form on this planet, but the church seems to fail at getting people to really look inside of themselves and see how they view Jesus. Oh yeah, there will be those within the church who will tell you how you should look upon and how you should have Jesus in your heart, but if one follows what they are told, are they really allowing their heart and soul to really know who Jesus is, or is their faith and God really of the person that is telling them how to think?

I was in a conversation in a MySpace group a few years ago. now I look up on my views and life as being more of a Moderate than being either Conservative or Liberal. The conversation was interesting, as both those on the conservative side and the liberal side were in agreement on the issue. Now the conservative side had been saying that the liberal side really weren't Christians mainly because of the views about hommosexuality. The liberal side keep pointing out stuff in the Bible concerning other laws in the Bible (mainly the Old Testiment by BOTH sides,) and that the conservative side wasn't following what was set down. Neither side would give up in the battle, then someone happen to mention a denomination. Both sides agreed that the people in that denomination were not Christians. I then asked a question that neither side was able to answer biblically. Where in the Bible does it say that people in certain denominations were Christians? I wanted them to point exactly to the verses. I found it funny that both sides started bringing up stuff that was not in the Bible, btu were things that Man, NOT GOD had said over the years. When I pointed out that I wanted Bible verses, they continued with the things supposed “Learned People” had said and written. I then had an say that I guess that they must be wrong in that they were unable to quote a single thing biblically to support their arguments. They were basing their arguments on Man, not on GOD.

And I find the same in many ways with what people have to say as to who Jesus is to them in their heart. But really, sit back and think about it. Why do you truly believe in your heart the way that you do? If you are a Christian, Jewish, Buddist, Islamist, or don't beieve in a higher being or not, why do you believe in your heart the way that you do? Why is YOUR Faith really YOUR Faith?

I find it funny when someone wants proof that God exist, and I ask them to prove that God doesn't exist, they tend to make some kind of remark, but the remark is one that doesn't even attempt to prove them being right. I had meet a very beautiful woman online that I really wanted to go out with at least once if I should of made made it to her area. We have a lot in common, really enjoyed talking with each other, but what our desire to do could not happen, as we had a God issue. She insisted that God didn't exist, and I was am (and am not) willing to give up my faith, as I know in my heart and soul that God does exist. I don't recall how we got into the issue, but one day we just got into a very short disagreement about the existance of God. When I said that I wanted her to prove that God didn't exist, she made a remark and we have not spoken since. Yeah I do miss my conversations on other things with her, but all that I can do is hope and pray that some day God touches her heart.

But back to the question. For me, Jesus is the one person in my life that I know really cares about me. Jesus isn't demanding anything from me, nor is he just wanting things from me. Jesus isn't like some of the people who have come into my life and act like vampires who just want me to do something for them. Jesus is the one person in my life who contacts me and asks me how I am doing.

People in this world get upset and complain to me that I never call them, and this is when I am the one who has called them. The funny thing is that they never call me, and when I have pointed this out, they change the subject.

Jesus comes to visit me. No I am not talking about coming to my place in a physical form, but Jesus stops by and visits me. I have lived in the same place for the last three years, and since I have moved in not a single person has ever come by to just visit,, but yet people will complain that I don't come by to see them. But Jesus comes by and checks out hwo I am. If I am not feeling well, Jesus is there.

Jesus is willing to listen to my ideas and hear what I have to say. I have gotten to the point with some people where I know that they aren't going to listen to me. Everything has to be about them. The funny thing with that is that those people who don't want to listen and want to make things about them is they think that they know all about me, but the truth is they really know nothing. They do their darndest to come across as an expert in many things, but the truth is they no nothing about anything.

Jesus is willing to apologize to me without excuses. I know someone now who has come up with excuse after excuse to me without ever saying the words “I'm sorry.” How this person can sit in a church week after week and ask God for forgiveness and to aplogize to God for the wrong that they have done is beyond me. I was taught that one sees God in there fellow human, so when I screw up, I say apologize. During service yesterday I screwed up as I had misread soemthing, and it effected the congregation. I apologized, and when someone else tried to blaim it on something else, I again apologized to the congregation and said that the fault was mine and mine alone.

Jesus died for my sins, and if he hadn't who knows what I would be like now. I want to again thank Jesus for dying for my sins, and continuing to be punished for my sins now. Yes most of the time I try my best to lead a sin free life, but I screw up.

Jesus is my best friend and has nothing but love for me. People say that parents have unconditional love for there kids, but think about it really. How often have you heard or even said that you would do something for your (or any) child as long as they do something. You have now put a condition upon actions, whereas in unconditional love actions aren't needed except by you.

Jesus is my guide. I am one of the sheep of Jesus who he is leading through an area where there are things that could kill me, kidnap me, or do me harm. Yes at times I do go off of the path and he leads me back, but he is my guide.

Oh I could go on and on about who Jesus is to me, but I want for you to sit back and think about who Jesus is to you?

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Why do you believe?

 I still don't get it. I'm talking about people wanting me to become ordained as a Deacon or a Priest. In case you are really wondering, if God were to say to me I had no choice but to be one or the other, I would become a Deacon.

But still, very few people will say what they see in me to even bring it up. I was at the Ordinations in this diocese at the beginning of last month. Before the ordination service, the diocese held an event relating to Area Ministry. During lunch, I was sitting at a table talking with a dear friend, someone that I really think should be ordained. After lunch, I had gotten together with the other members of the Commission On Ministry as we lined up to head in for the ordinations. One of the people said, “I was at a table, and someone asked me who that priest was. I looked around and said that their were a number of them around, which one was she was talking about. She said the one sitting over there, and I looked around and asked again which one she was talking about. She pointed and said the one that is sitting at the table talking with the woman. I then realized that she was talking about you.”

OK, something is going on, but nobody will explain to me what it is that they see. I was at church one day, and one of the members said something to me and that I should become ordained. My pastor overheard the conversation, and got a huge smile on his face.When we had a conversation about 10 days later, after telling him what I have been experienced, I asked him what he saw in me. He talked about all of the other people, but when I brought it back to what he saw, he again avoided the question.

But there have been a couple of people who have answered the question whom I really respect for it, several of them are Deacons. But I really need to hear from others as to what they see in me.

Now to something else. I forgot to mention that the guppies that I had written about have all died. The final one to go was one of the orange ones. I realized that it was going to happen about a week earlier, as he would only lay on the bottom of the tank, and the only time he would swim around was when food was put into the tank.

I also ended up losing all of the fish in that tank a few months later, this included the fish that I had the longest, which was a catfish. I am at fault on this, as I had added to much salt into the water the night before when I went to top off the tank with water. When I arose the next day, I walked into the living room and looked into the tank. The catfish was laying on one of the plants like it would do at times, but I knew something was wrong. I grabbed a net and stuck it into the tank, and when I got close to it and it didn't dart off, I knew that it was dead. It was then that I realized that all of the other fish were dead also. I haven't gotten any new fish to replace them, as I am trying to figure out what I want to get, and even if I want to continue to have fish. I have been thinking about just cleaning out the water in the tank and getting a Beta. I'll figure it out one of these days.

Anyway, things are still the same at the congregation that I am in. My pastor has still not apologized to me as directed by the vestry. I am finding it funny, as I have let him know that I am still awaiting the apology, and he has given excuses. He has even given sermons relating to rewards and other stuff, but still he can't do something so simple as to say, “Clinton, I am sorry. I screwed up and what I did was wrong. I apologize.” I know that it is never going to happen, and I wonder how he will answer to the Holy Trinity if he should be asked about it.

I hope to get back to writing here more often. I have been busy with other things, and I have also gone back to writing poetry from time to time. I haven't been keepin up with much of what has been happening in the Anglican Communion, as I feel that I should be spending my time doing other things. I will do my best to write something in the next few weeks.

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What do they see in me?

 Ever since I was about 10 or 11, people have said to me that I should think about becoming either a priest or a deacon, and to this day I have never been able to figure out why. Now what is strange with this is that not many Black youth are told this. Just recently I was told by Deacons in this diocese that I should go to the School for Deacons and become a deacon. I just don't get what people see in me. Let me go back in time.

 My parents bought a house in another area of Philadelphia. We had continued to attend the same congregation, but for some reason unknown to me they decided that it was time to find a church that was closer to home. There were two congregations not to far away. We went to one congregation and my parents I discovered later really liked it. Then the next Sunday we went to the other one. During service some people came and got my sister and I and took us to Sunday School. While we were in our classes, they had us sign some stuff. Now being the age that I was, I really didn't have a clue as to what we were signing, but it turned out that we had signed up for Sunday School. We told our parents after church what we had filled out, and they said that they guess we are going to church here now. Now that I think about it, I have a feeling that they were upset at what had happened, but they didn't express it (thanks mom and dad.) 

 I had noticed two clergy people at the church during service, and as far as I knew they were both priest, as I don't recall ever hearing the term Deacon before. As we were sitting there one Sunday, my father leaned over and for some reason explained that one was the priest and the other a Deacon. He then explained the two roles to me, and said that I should think about becoming one and that I should strongly consider the role of a Deacon. I think that at this point I had wanted to become a cop like one of my grandfathers was, but never a clergy person. I thought about it for a while, but because I really didn't understand the role of the Deacon, I put it out of my head.

 On the day that I was confirmed, after service and some prodding from my parents, I walked up to the Bishop and asked him to sign the Bible that my parents had bought me as a gift (I still have that Bible to this day.) We spoke for a minute, then he said that I should think about becoming a Deacon. I was 12 or 13 at that point, and wasn't quite sure what I wanted to be, but I told him that I would think about it.

 Again and again I thought about the two roles as people kept saying that I should become a member of the clergy, but I just didn't get it. I wasn't feeling the need or desire to become one. When I moved to California, I heard it again at the congregation that I attended, but I came up with an excuse that brought me to an understanding that I had no interest. The Bishop's Committee choose the Deanery reps, and I was asked to be one. I said OK, and when I went to my first meeting and then the convention of the diocese I knew that even though becoming a member of the clergy would be something that I wouldn't be doing. Politics killed the thought of becoming a member of the clergy. I watched the politics that were going on, and I knew that I had no desire to be apart of it. I went back and stayed within the confines of my congregation.

 Years went by, and people kept bringing up me becoming a clergy person over and over.  Yes I have thought about it over and over, but I really didn't understand the role of the deacon. When I became a member of the Commission on Ministry, I gained a great understanding of the role. The more that I have learned and thought about it, the more that I think back on the first mention of it by my father. I wonder if someone had really explained the role of the Deacon in my teen years, would it of made a difference in my goals in life? Would I be ordained a deacon now? Oh there is no way for me to go back in time and have that happen, but I wonder.

 Over the last few years the call for me to take on that role has been pushed on me more and more it seems. I sit and I wonder about it, “Should I do it, or should I not?”, “What difference would it make to me to become one?”, “Why should I even think about wearing a collar, and how would it help me in spreading the Gospel to the world?” So many questions, with so few answers. 

 I know that the one thing that this diocese needs more than priest are Deacons. We have such an overflow of priest that each congregation could have 3 of them, and we would still have extras around. But this, like many other diocese in the Episcopal Church have a large shortage of deacons. I wonder if I should become one and talk with teenagers about thinking of it as a career choice to do even though they will need to have a secular job? 

 I don't see myself as a Deacon or a priest, but I wonder what it is that people keep seeing in me to think that I should? Oh if I were to follow that path, it will be because it is what the people desire, and I will truly be raised by the community to that role, but why does the community of the diocese wish to see me in that role is something that I wonder. What talents and skills does the community see in me that will be a benefit to the world?

 I remember being at ordinations a few years ago, and  ArchDeacon Anthony Turney gave the sermon. He talked about the role of the deacon and a well known charity. He ended the sermon in a brilliant way, and it really related to what he talked about. he told the newly ordained deacons that they needed to got o Hell. I wonder if I am really to do that in order to help spread the Good News of the Holy Trinity? But I also wonder if you are willing to go there with me? I love being on the Commission on Ministry, but I wonder if me being on it was God's way of telling me to think about my path and what God wants me to do?

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The Struggles of the Church - Part I

 I am hoping that there is something that will happen to change things, but I fear that it will not happen. Yeah it is the congregation that I am in. I have tried over and over again to get things going there, but I have given up for the most part. My pastor has begun to try, but I think that he will give up by the summer. I still think that there is hope for the place, but not much hope for it with most of the people within the walls of it currently. Changes need to be made, and with those changes it means a lose of many of the people there. 

 The congregation basically has 6 real lay leaders, and only one of them serves on the vestry at this time. The thing is with this person, if the diocese were to ask me to bring the leaders of the congregation over for a meeting, he wouldn't be one of them, and I think that maybe two of the others might come. But this congregation is like so many others, where it is just really a few people who actually do the work. I have someone hoped that with Area Ministry that it would get others to step of to the plate, but I don't think that it will happen much. 

 What is really sad is how little people really want to do anything at this congregation. The vestry will put committees together, and they don't meet, or will start off with a bang and then die very quickly. Trying to get people together to do even the simplest of things is difficult. When I first started going there, on the first Sunday of the month people would bring food for the Food Pantry, but that faded away. I tried to bring that back, and it worked for a couple of months, then it stopped. We do a monthly Movie Night, where a member of the congregation will bring in a movie on the second Saturday of the month and will also bring some snacks. The idea was to invite the neighbors to come in hopes that a few of them might be interested in wanting to know more about the church and become members. Just a couple of us put notices out to the people of the area, and even got it into the local neighborhood paper. Only one neighbor ever came. Part of the problem was that there was more of a push to have movies that had Spanish subtitles, than to get the people of the area through the door. Sure it is nice to have people from the congregation to show up, but it wasn't helping the church grow. One other thing is that when people sign up, they also put what movie they are going to show so that can be advertised not only within the neighborhood, but also places like Craigslist. 

 But as hard as others and I try to bring life into the place, and get people involved, excuse after excuse is given as to why the different ideas can't be done. Now imagine if the followers during the time of Jesus keep doing that. Do you really think that Christianity would have survived? It's time for people to get off of there butt and actually do something.

 This in a way is not just about the congregation that I am in, but the Episcopal Church, the Lutheran Church, the Catholic Church and the many others that are dying. Oh people are talking about there members dying and moving away, but what is being done to get others to fill in those empty seats? It would seem to me that with people moving, that growth for some parishes would be happening, but I don't hear about that, only that congregations are dying. I know of a congregation that at had a large number of people in the pews for the two services that they had on Sundays, but now they are down to one service and only have maybe 25 people for it. This is sad.

 But yet I do see hope for many of the congregations if they really want to survive. One of the first things that I think needs to be done is to have people from the office have a conversation with the lay leader of these places to see if they really see any true and honest hope of the congregation's survival. The diocese needs to also have suggestions on things that these congregations could do. They also must talk about the effect of actually closing or merging congregations. Think about it. Maybe two struggling congregations could merge into one under new clergy leadership. and even though they might start off small, with more lay leadership involved, they could become vital places with life in them. Why have say 80 congregations with say ½ of them dying, when you could have 60 congregations with life in them that are spreading greatness of our Lord and Saviour?

 But I will admit that I do see congregations in the Episcopal Diocese that I live in where I truly believe that the Holy Trinity will bring life back into. There are three congregations that come to mind. St. Cyprian's in San Francisco. From what I understand, they are down to only 25 people coming each Sunday. I know their vicar, The Rev. Will Scott. This is a congregation that I would love to see leaders from other congregations attend and become a member of. With the leaders at the church, others coming in, and Area Ministry, this could become the congregation that it once was, that being one with Life in it. 

 Another congregation is the one that I joined when I first moved to California. It was a vibrant congregation then, but after I left it declined to a sad state. From what I understand, St. Cuthbert's is actually beginning to do well. But the thing that I believe will help it in it's growth is if some of its members get involved in other things in the diocese. I believe that they have the ability to become the faster growing congregation in the diocese and in the Episcopal Church as a whole. It's just missing that certain something to get it there. Even though I am not a fan of the vicar, I think that if the members were to actually listen to her and work with her, along with support from the diocese, they will grow.

 The last congregation is St. Paul's here in Oakland. Now they are actually doing OK, but I believe that they are about to become another one of those that will grow in huge ways. This is a case where the rector is so dynamic, they will come just for him, but the problem is that the church won't know what to do with the people beyond having them come on Sundays.

 Oh I know that there are a ton of more congregations that I could add, like Grace Epiphany in Philadelphia and others, but those were the ones that come to mind as I think about it. 

 Another congregation that just jumped into my mind what I pray will be busting at the seems one day is St. Clare's, located in Pleasanton. Rev. Ron Culmer is the Rector and a really super guy. I think that with his leadership, and if the people work with him, that church will be one of those where you will need to get there 20 minutes before any service if you want to get a seat.

 One more is St. Augustine's here in Oakland. It seems to be that they have the right mixture of stuff, from a great Rector in Rev. Monrelle Williams, to people who are active at many levels not only at different levels within the congregation, but in the diocese as well, but something just isn't working right. Oh they have bugged me to join leave where I am and join them, but for me my heart wouldn't be in that place. Oh I do go there for services, and I do love the people, but I kind of like the underdog church that others forget exist. 

 Anyways, let me end this here, as I am sure that their are plenty of other things that you could be doing besides reading what I write. I promise that I will continue on with my thoughts int eh near future.

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Just a LITTLE Respect is all that I ask for...

 I find it amazing how little respect I get from my own pastor. I think that if it wasn't for others in this diocese, like my Bishop, I would no longer be in the Episcopal Church, or I would at least be at another congregation. Every Sunday I sit in a congregation that is dead, and nobody seems to want to do anything able bringing life back to it. The place is full of excuses on why it can't do anything, and leading the pack is the pastor. Now I don't want for him to be removed any time soon, as he does do some good things, but I already see him taking full credit on something that if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be involved in. Let me go back in time.

 I grew up in a family who was involved in the church, regardless of whatever congregation we were in. My mother was involved with the Altar Guild and other things. My father was the Sr. Warden and involved with a number of other things, and even my sister got involved. I did my best not to get involved, but I found myself involved with a number of activities.

 When I moved to the west coast, I didn't attend an Episcopal service for a few months, but one Sunday I awoke and had to attend a service. With the help of someone, I found one of the local congregations and attended. I walked into it and knew that I was back home. After the service, I spoke with the vicar and he was excited to have me there and of the things that I had done in the church. Before I knew it, I was involved.

 Some changed occurred at the church, and I had moved to another part of the city. I went to the congregation that was closest to me, mainly to see what they were up to, and before I knew it, I was a member there. I tried to remain in the background, but before I knew it I was involved with different thing. After a few years, I managed to get it so that I was mainly doing what I had wanted to do ever since I was a child, and that was to just sit in the pews. After a few years, I found myself back active again, but this time it was much deeper. Now let me speed up.

 The Vestry put together a committee to work on the rental of the campus in different areas. After not meeting for several months, I took it upon myself to rewrite all of the rules, and came up with several pricing items. I brought this to the committee (who still hadn't met,) and they looked over it. It was then brought to the vestry, who passed it. It was then said that the committee should be given a hand. As the applause was going, someone mentioned to my pastor that I should be given the credit. He then said "That doesn't matter". When I brought up what had happened in order to protect the church in case something should happen, and after a discussion, the vestry voted that I was owed and apology. After the meeting, my pastor walked up to me and said,"I thought that you were on the committee," then turned around and walked away. I still haven't heard an apology.

 I was asked by the diocese to be apart of a group to put together a strategic plan for multicutural and multiethnic ministry. At the first meeting we talked about many things, one of which was to take a look at other plans that had been put together. They thought that my pastor could get one of them and that he could present it to the group several months down the line. When he came to the meeting that we wanted to talk to him about the plan, he came without the plan. He got involved through the rest of the process. The Sunday after the Diosean Convention passed what was created, he took full credit for his involvement and how great he was on this, but didn't mention that I was involved even though I was sitting in the church. A few years later, we had an Assistant Bishop come to visit. Part of his job was to be the head of the MultiCultural & Ethnic Ministries. He, my pastor and I were standing in the altar area, when he brought it up and that he had questions about it. I said that he had two of the people standing with him that had worked on it. My pastor then said that I had very little to do with it, and that it was mainly his work. I just walked away.

 I asked that "Lift Every Voice and Sing" be sung during Black History Month. He told me that it didn't fit with the liturgy. I asked the next year and was told that we sing other Black songs throughout the year, so no reason to sing it. I have found it funny when I have gone into other congregations (even Euro congregations,) they sung it during the month. Funny, when I changed the last hymn of the service last February to it, people walked up to me afterwards saying that we should have been singing it each week during February. 

 Not to long ago, I passed him a note asking that we do the "Stations of the Cross" during Lent. Now we had been doing it the last couple of years, as I have found some interesting versions. Now I had to get through his "Oh, that's a Spanish thing" several years ago when I brought the idea up. I also explained that it is something that I do for my Personal Spiritual growth, and even if I did it by myself, it would help me in my growth. We this time he wrote back that we should do this bilingual. I said that I will explain why we shouldn't on the way back. on the way back, I explained why I did the Stations, and he kept insisting that we do it bilingually. In other words, what he was saying to me was that he didn't care about my Spirituality. 

 The diocese runs a program called Nightwatch. He got mad that he wasn't invited to be apart of the planning team. He came and brought some of the youth the first year. I know that he was hoping that it was such a problem that he could jump in so he could claim that he saved the day. The kids loved the program, and the program went off well. As a result, the youth group at the church began meeting again. I asked the youth what they wanted to do, and I even showed them a list of events that the diocese had for youth. He didn't like it, so he ignored what the youth wanted and made up his own things to do with them. After a bit of time, the youth group fell apart. It was sad to watch, as at one point he all but told the youth that they weren't permitted to talk with me about things that they wanted to do. Because of things with the Assistant Bishop, people involved in the group he wanted me to have people involved with the planning. My pastor proceeded to say to be after the meeting that we should take the event away from the others that I was working with over. Now that we are working at putting the next Nightwatch together, he has lied to me about how someone else (one of his friends) got involved. People have told me that the two of them want to try to relive there supposed glory days of youth work, and now I know that they are going to attempt to drive out all of the people involved who won't do things the way that they want away from future Nightwatches, and will try to do the same with the other youth events. They won't listen, and sadly the youth stuff for the diocese will vanish. I already know what will happen after the event is over. He will stand before people and claim all of the credit for the event for himself and his friend. If I try to say anything, he will do his best to minimize my involvement.

 Time and time again he has shown no respect to me and others. The vestry said that he had to take three consecutive weeks off between January 2009 and September 2009. He thought that he could come back with a list of times that he will be away during the week over months ahead, and I am sure that he was mad when it was mentioned that he also needed to take three consecutive weeks off. When it came to the September Vestry meeting, he still hadn't taken the time off, and when we tried to work with him as to when, nothing but excuses as to why he couldn't. I resigned from the vestry after that meeting. I wrote out why I resigned, and from what I have been told he minimized what I wrote as to why I resigned to the Spanish speakers on the vestry. He doesn't want them to know the truth.

 When one tries to bring up Stewardship and giving of monies to the church to, he gives a sermon about Stewardship having nothing to do with money. His response to me when I said "Joyous Kwanzaa" to him during the Peace was "Oh That", then walking away. Telling the congregation that Black History wasn't important. He has done so much stuff and taken credit for works of others that I am now finding it funny. The Diocese has come up with a great idea and is calling it Area Ministry. He has found a ton of reasons as to why it shouldn't be called that among the Oakland congregations, but Shared Ministry. I get the feeling that if it is successful under that name his will claim all of the credit for it with tons of excuses as to why it isn't Area Ministry. 

 But I am glad that others in the diocese have said "Thank You" to me. It makes me realize that people do care. I have thought about leaving the congregation to join one that wants to survive, but I think that I need to sit back and watch the destruction of this congregation. I don't want to diocese to remove the pastor either, as I have said, he does do some great work. It's just a shame that he has driven a number of natural leaders away, not only from the congregation, but even from the Episcopal Church. I know that he has no respect for me, but all that I can do is pray that I get my reward in Heaven. I wonder how he will answer to the Holy Trinity for the things that he has done, not just to me, but to others?

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The Spirit is working in DioCal

 It's been a bit since I wrote anything here, but let me catch you up on a couple of things.

 Several years ago, Bishop Marc asked me to be a guest blogger on his blog. I had asked him what he would like for me to write on, and he said anything that I desired, and he mentioned some ideas. I took one of his suggestions and wrote a blog on Being Black in the Episcopal Church. It was received well, and even part of it was put onto the Episcopal Cafe. People from all over kept telling me how much they enjoyed it. One of the things that I had put into it was a call for DioCal to come up with something visible to let people know that we are a multiracial church.

 About 8 months ago people began telling me that they say my picture in DioHouse. I was shocked, but whenever I would have to drop by there for something, I never saw this picture. When I would be there I would look, and all that I ever saw were the white faces that we always on the walls. The other day I had to go to DioHouse for a meeting. I came in through the door on the Plaza level with someone, then came down the steps. As we reached the bottom of the steps, we stopped and talked with one of the other people who was going to be in this meeting. I turned and looked at the door that I should of come in, and noticed a moral. Their it was. There was the picture that people had been seeing of me. I was shocked. I walked over and looked. My diocese does really care for those of us of color.

 I had been seriously thinking about leaving the congregation that I am in. I have grown tired of almost being a Lone Ranger in getting things done, and trying to get the congregation to grow. I've been trying to get the congregation to try and make the place look better. I have tried to get stewardship going, but have no help from the clergy person who will talk about stewardship as being everything but giving money, and in fact has said that stewardship has nothing to do with stewardship, and has come up with tons of reasons for not having people make pledges to help the church continue. The congregations is full of excuses for not doing something.

 But I have changed my mind on leaving. Our Bishop and the diocese has come up with an idea called Area Ministry. Now what Area Ministry is varies depending on who you talk to. Now Area Ministry has never been spoken about in my congregation except for a couple of times. I am lucky enough to be on the Commission on Ministry in this diocese. I love it, as I have gotten to meet some wonderful people and it has helped me to grow spiritually.I love being on this commission.

 One of the things that Bishop Marc desires is for all of us to become deeply involved in our local Area Ministry. My problem is that nobody in Oakland is really doing anything to get the congregations to even talk with one another about this ministry. I've been thinking lately that maybe I should contact a few people in other congregations just to sit and have a talk about it.

 As part of being on the Commission on Ministry, we interview the people that the Bishop feels should be considered to become clergy people. This is called Vocations Day. Vocations day happened last weekend. We on the CoM are paired into teams of 4, and split into twos. Depending on how many people their are, depends on how many people we have to interview. At this past one, with one of the people that my team had to interview, I was really unsure. Yes I could vision this person wearing a clergy collar, but I really didn't see this person really doing anything beyond just being an Asst Priest at a congregation.

 I had been attending a Lenten Series at another congregation that dealt with Prayer. Even though this person was doing some work at this congregation, this person wasn't at this event. I understand as they have a distance to drive, and young children. I had written the team report on this person, and even though the others saw more in her, I was still having a problem. I went to the other congregation today because the last of the series was being done after the service. I enjoyed the series, and had someone cover me at my congregation with the music. 

 What I was unaware of was that this person was going to give the Homily today. They did an incredible job. I was just blown away. We talked afterwards, and I let them know what a great job they did. They were able to take an event in their life, the lessons, and the description of Area Ministry on the diocesan website and make it work in a way that made my mouth just drop open. I wish that we had some of ordaining this person last year, as I see great things in the future for her and Christianity.

Well, let me end this here. I hope and pray that the Holy Trinity Blesses and Guides you always.

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Giving up on the Youth Group

 It is sad, the my diocese is holding and event this weekend for the youth of the diocese, and none of the youth from my congregation are coming. The thing is that it is something that they want to do, but because the pastor of the congregation isn't happy that things aren't going to be done his way when it comes to youth and Young Adults in the diocese, he is not going to try and get any of the youth from coming, and will most likely in fact do his best to stop them from coming. He has his mind so determined on how things should be, he is not willing to listen to others, or open his mind at other possibilities. 

 I am throwing up my hands and am going to stand back with the youth of the congregation. This person has no real desire to do things that the youth want to do, which is sad and why the youth group never really grew and in fact no longer has any kids. It's about him and the things that he wants for the kids to do, not about the youth. For him it is more important to rely on what people who have pieces of paper say that youth should be doing than to listen to the youth want to do. 

 Nightwatch is a wonderful event, and I am hoping that several hundred youth from throughout not just the Episcopal Diocese, but from other denominations come for this wonderful event. I am hoping that the diocese takes advantage and gets these youth involved in other things.

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The Death of a Congregation

 When I first moved to Oakland in 1980, I had no plans on attending church services at an Episcopal Church anymore. I had been raised in the Episcopal Church and felt it was time to try something new. I had seriously thought about joining the Quakers, as I had attended a Quaker school as a child, and I think that they are part of the reason that I have turned out the way that I am.

 After living here a few months, I woke up one Sunday and needed to go to an Episcopal service. I was living with an aunt at the time, and we looked in the Yellow Pages and found a couple of congregations that were close by. We went over to the first one, but something about it told me that I wouldn't like it, so we went to the other one. She dropped me off, and as soon as I walked through the doors I knew I was in the right church. 

 After a few years, I changed to the current congregation that I am in now. What I liked about it was that it was a Church Family that was welcoming to all regardless of sex, sexuality, age, color, etc. I had planned on only being involved in a couple of things (acolyte and the choir,) but was going to limit my activities. Before I knew it, I was involved with much more.

 I was elected to the vestry, and I enjoyed it. I have not only been just a Vestry Member, but have been elected the Jr. Warden and even the Sr. Warden. I currently serve as only a member of the Vestry. Over the last five years I have watched as the church has been dying. The sad part is that the congregation doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. I had brought up ideas and I keep hearing excuses as to why we can't do certain things. When we needed to get our roof redone, I brought up the idea of going after grants. I was told that churches can't get grants for that. When I went back to visit my father and was at his congregation (the same congregation that I grew up in,) he told me about them getting grants to replace their roof. I get back here and explain to the vestry about what happened with then, the vestry said that this is something that we must do. I sent an email to the person that said that they would contact my father's church to find out what information that they had. I sent it to them. Someone else said that they had a friend who wrote grants and they would contact them to find out if they would be willing to help. Months go by and no report as to progress. I finally ask at a vestry meeting, and was told that the person never got the email and the other person hadn't even bothered to contact their friend. I resend the e-mail twice in a reply to something that they had sent me. I know that they have never bothered to make the call. With the other one, they contacted their friend and the friend said that she didn't have the time. I asked if her friend would be willing to help someone (myself) via email, the person said that they would check, and to this day I have never heard an answer. So we end up having to go to the diocese and ask them for the money. The condition with the money is that if the current priest were to leave before we finished paying the money, or if we came back to the diocese to have a conversation about becoming a mission.

 I brought up the idea of having a monthly breakfast between services on the first Sunday of the month. Each month a person/group/family would prepare a meal and we would charge say $5. The host would have donated the expense, and the money would go to the church since we aren't bringing in enough in the plate to even pay the Gas & Electric bill. I was told how that wouldn't work, but someone had a microwave that we could raffle off. Still haven't seen the microwave or anything being raffled.

 The church has historic Stain Glass windows that could never be replaced. My bet is that they are worth three to five million dollars. In the windows of the chapel, they are beginning to fall apart. The faces on two of the windows have faded away. Most of them are beginning to collapse. One of the members of the congregation contacted 5 or 6 different places about getting them repaired. Each place came out to inspect them, and most of them sent estimates on cost. The person comes to a vestry meeting and talks about it, two months in a row. If you were to look at the Minutes of the Vestry, nothing appears about what was said. 

 Because of my involvement on an ethnic commission in the diocese, I was asked to be apart of a group that was drafting a strategic plan for multiculturalism and multi-ethnicity in the diocese. Someone from my congregation was asked to find a plan from another diocese. This person never got a copy of the other plan, but got involved in the group. The day after the plan was passed at convention, this person stood in front of the congregation and talk about what a great person he was for creating this plan and getting it through convention. The fact that I was apart of the group wasn't even mentioned. Just recently the Assisting Bishop came for a visit to the congregation. Prior to the service, he came over to my direction because of the music that I was playing. This same person came over and began talking. The plan came up, and I mentioned that the two of us were apart of creating the plan, then the other person said in effect that the plan wouldn't of come together without all of the work that he did and that I was only apart of the group. I walked away.

 About 5 years ago I committee was put together to come up with a pricing chart, rules and regulations, and a new form to be used. Nothing occurred as the committee never met. A couple of years ago another committee was put together to do the same thing. I wasn't on either committee. I proceeded on my own to put all of these things together, and presented them to the committee and the vestry. The committee met once, and my work went to the vestry who voted to pass it. Credit was then given to the committee for all of the hard work that they did. When it was mentioned that the credit should really be given to me, the reply was that it should be given to the committee, not to me. After a few months, I asked that the record be corrected and that I was upset about what had occurred. I was told how wrong I was for asking such a thing and that I shouldn't of gotten upset. After a bit of time, it was decided that an apology should be given to me. I still haven't gotten the apology.

 I brought forth the idea of doing a monthly Movie Night. The idea for this was to advertise it to the neighbors to get them to just come into the building, and hopefully we could get a couple of them to actually attend church there. I figured with the number of apartment building in the area, their had to be a few lacked Episcopalians/Anglicans, and maybe we could get a few to attend. I was hoping also that we could raise the number of English speakers since they are the ones who actually tithe in a recognizable way. After a few times of this event, people felt it was more important that we should show films that have Spanish subtitles than to try and grow the congregation. 

 I'm getting long with this, so let me tell you about today and why the blog (I hate that term) has the title that it does.

 At last months meeting of the vestry, I brought up the idea of putting a committee together for deal with the maintenance of the campus and other property. I suggested three names. Two of the people were sitting there and said that they would be on it, and someone else said that they would ask the third person. At todays meeting, the third person was their for a little bit. They still hadn't been asked. The person left and even though I and that person said that they hadn't been asked to be on it, neither the person who was suppose to ask or the other two bothered to ask. After the person left and I said something about blowing the chance to ask the person, excuses were given.

 Another issue came up and I said that this is something that I have brought up before with the vestry and that I was told how wrong I was with other excuses. I was then told that I had never done that before, and that excuses weren't given when I had brought it up.

 Later when am idea was brought forth about planning for the future, and voting on putting a committee together of three people to plan the way that we will do it, I will then told how wrong my idea was on just having three people, and that we should have two committees doing this. After a bit of back and forth, people wanted to no longer go with what they already voted to do, and the Jr. Warden then asked for a vote. He asked for the Yes Votes, but failed to ask for the No's and Abstains. I mention this, and they have a problem with it, but they go ahead and ask the questions. I and one other abstained.

 It was during the debate during the last thing where I finally decided that I had had enough. I realized that putting anymore effort into trying to get this place from just doing nothing but continue to die, to a place where it wants to live is not going to work. It is time for me to find a place that wants to live. A time to find a place that doesn't have a bunch of excuses as to why we can't do something, to a place that wants to do things to grow and Live. If the diocese were to ask me to stay where I am, I don't know if I could. Life is too short to stay in a place that is doing everything that it can to die, and wants to fight the ability to Live and Grow.

Time Tired.

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ASL Episcopal Congregations?

 I connected with a cousin of mine on Facebook. even though I don't think about it, he happens to be deaf. He wasn't born that way, it happened with a illness that he had as a child. While looking through his profile, I noticed that he is a member of the Oakland Deaf Church. I know very little about his church, but after looking at there website a question came to mind about the Episcopal and Anglican church. Are there any Episcopal/Anglican deaf congregations?

 We have done a lot towards being inclusive towards so many, but I as I watched this sermon from his church I realized that I have never seen or recall seeing any ASL done in any congregation or event. Hopefully some day we will be inclusive towards the deaf in more ways than we are.

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Who do you relate to in the Bible?

I'm not sure where the question or even how the question ever came into my mind, but it is a question that I have often asked myself, and it is a question that I ask others. I think that the question came from a sermon that a priest gave in a church that my family was in when I was a small child, but I'm not sure. I now pose the question to you. Other than Jesus and the Holy Triune, who do you relate to in the Bible and why?

For a period of time I found myself relating very much to Jonah, in the story of Jonah and the Whale. For me, even though I was born into a Christian family that went to the Episcopal Church, after I moved to California, I felt it was time to attend another denomination. I had thought about joining the Quakers, as I had gone to a Quaker school for a few years, and if it wasn't for that experience, I don't think that I would of turned out the way that I have. I think that I would of used far more drugs than I did, and would have gotten into trouble resulting in me going to prison for something, but luckily for me that between the Quakers, my friends and family, and my Christian faith, I have lead a Christian life as much as possible.

I attended Lutheran, Pentecostal and other denominations services, and maybe it they weren't the right places, but I found myself back in the Episcopal Church. I have tried this over and over again, and each and every time something kept pulling me back. The last time that I recall that I was going to leave, my Bishop requested that I become a member of one of the commissions in the diocese. Him and others kept calling upon me to do more and more in the Episcopal Church, and I have come to the point where I realize that I am going to be a member throughout the rest of my life.

Not to long ago, I watched Jesus Christ Superstar 2000. Now I love the original film version, and it is one of my favorite films, but after seeing the newer film version, I haven't been able to watch it. I sat and watched the extras, and one of them as an interview with the guy who wrote the play in which the films are based on. It was through the interview that I learned that Superstar is their way of looking at the last days of Christ through the eyes of Judas. When I watched the film through that aspect, I have come to love it even more.

Judas has been someone that has been of interest to me for a number of years. I don't know why, but unlike others I don't think of him as being a “Bad Guy.” Judas was in my eyes a “Good Guy.” Judas was the one that watched and paid attention to what was going on, really listened to the words and teachings of Jesus, along with paying attention to the actions of Christ. I believe that Judas was the one that saw the “Big Picture.” Judas was the one that “Got it.”

I find myself more and more relating to Judas. I'm not saying that I “Get It”, but I find myself in the role that Judas was in so that the things that were to happen came into being. I have found that I am having to do things in order to get things going and done. Yes many of the things that I have had to do has caused others to dislike my actions, but I realize that it for the better in my opinion. I have seen the Judas actions that I have done actually have effect for both the better and the worse. In my heart, I truly believe that Judas will be in Heaven.

In one of the events in the Gospels is about a mother asking that her two sons be seated next to Jesus at the great banquet in heaven. I think that those who enter into that banquet hall will all be surprised to find sitting next to Jesus will be Judas.

I am sure that some may read this and say something like, “But Judas doesn't deserve that seat, for he sold out Jesus. If it wasn't for his actions, Jesus would of lived.” But I ask you, do you think that Christianity would exist today if this hadn't happened and Jesus lived to be an old man and died peacefully in his sleep? Why symbol would we have in our churches since we remember Christ death with the thing that he died on, that being the cross. As much as we want to only look upon Judas as a bad person, I think that we should be giving him thanks.

I find myself relating to Judas because of the congregation that I am in. At times I need to get others not within the congregation in order to get things done it seems. It upsets my pastor and others in the congregation when I do such things. They say how wrong I am because of my actions and words, and they don't quite understand that what I am trying to do is to save the church from a sure death. Over a period of a few years, the vestry put together two committees to work on our usage rules and forms, and neither one did a thing. Over a period of a few months, I put together the new rules and forms. The second group met once to go over what I had put together, and it was presented to the vestry. All of the credit was given to the committee for the work, and when it was pointed out that I should be given credit also, I hear the words that it wasn't important and that the committee should be given the credit. Funny, we have churches named after all of the apostles except for Judas. Judas has been vilified by the world. If Judas hadn't done what he did, when he did, in my view I don't think that we would have Christianity now. Yes the apostles went out and spread the good news, but would they have if Jesus had simply died in his sleep? What would our symbol be if he had died that way? Would we really understand the important of Jesus like we do now?

There are a large number of theories as to why Judas did what he did, and I think that we must remember that he was a man who wanted action and understood the importance of what he was paid to do. I believe that he understood what the Torah said about the Messiah, and that Jesus was the Messiah. I believe that Jesus knew that Judas was had to be an Apostle because Judas would do what is the correct thing that would cause us all to follow the commandments that had been laid down.

Like Judas, in my view, I try to do what it takes to get people to follow the Lord. Just because one goes to church, does not make one a Christian. I think that Judas was a Christian in the purest sense of the word. Yes Judas took his own life, but I think that at the time of the great judgment, he will be forgiven and praised for bringing trillions and trillions into the Love of the Holy Trinity like no other has. Now I am not saying that I is what I am trying to do, but if my action helps to bring even just one or two to the Lord, then I think that I will have done good work. Yes I would love to bring in trillions, and will do my best, but if it means that I will be vilified like Judas, then it will be worth it in the end.

I hope and pray that you spend time over and over again though your life understanding who in the Bible that you relate to, other than Jesus. Jesus is the easy answer, so try and figure out who else there is.

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The Gospel According to Jesus

“Love the Lord with all of your heart, all of your mind, and with all of your soul. And the second great commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. On these to commandments hang all of the laws of the prophets.” - Jesus Christ

 

Growing up I really had no interest in the politics of the church, for I was young and things like that never really interested me. Yeah I went to church each and every Sunday, and my parents were and still are involved in different aspects of the church outside of just going to service, and even though I was a acolyte, sang in the choir, and did other things, the politics of the church was something that never really interested me.

 

I was living in Philadelphia at the time when women were first officially ordained, and I remember thinking to myself that it was nice, but what had taken the Episcopal Church so long in having that, for I had seen it in other Christian communities in the Black community. Was the Episcopal church really that far behind the times? Then later the that diocese said that it was ok to have females as acolytes. At the time that the congregation I was in decided to have it's first female acolyte, I was the senior acolyte, and they were very nervous about approaching me to inform me. I had the power to make someone a good or bad acolyte, for no other acolyte had the same skill set that I had. People loved when my best friend and I served, for they knew that they were going to see it done as though it has a super high mass with a show. When they finally told me what they decided that they wanted to do, they were very surprised when I said that I thought that it would be great. Unlike others that I trained, she was trained to hold up the tradition that my friend and I had begun.

 

When I moved to the diocese that I am in now, I figured that I would no longer have to serve as an acolyte, but when those at the congregation that I was in say how I would shake my head at the way that the acolytes did things, to told me that if I felt that I could do better to get up their one Sunday and show them how it was suppose to be done. I really didn't want to do it, but the next Sunday I put vestments on and showed them how it should be done. I was immediately made head acolyte.

 

Over time I became more and more involved with that congregation, and was even thinking about becoming a Deacon, but then something happened that changed my mind. I was elected to be one of our Deanery representatives, and I because to see the politics that goes on within the larger church organization. It made me realize that the what I had been thinking was just purely about Christianity wasn't so. Yes, for week after week, year after year, I had been going into the buildings and saying the words that were put into front of me, but that isn't what made me a Christian.

 

Christianity isn't about the buildings and organizational structures, but what is in somebody's heart. We hear and say the words. We read our Bibles and learn each and every verse, but does that make one a Christian? Currently several church organizations are going through rough times with infighting about who can and cannot do what, and what the Bible says, but Jesus made the whole thing so simple for us to understand.

 

We have gotten so caught up in other matters, that we are making things more difficult than they really should be. We find it so easy to tell each other that we love one another, but when was the last time that you just simply said “God I love You!”? Think about it. I'm not talking about prayers and other such stuff, but just simply said to the Holy Trinity that you loved him?

 

I want you to get up right now, go outside and make a 360 degree turn and say “God I love you.” I don't care if someone else is out there and may see you, and think that you are nuts. From your heart let God know how you feel.

 

Go Ahead, I will wait.

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Now didn't that feel good?

 

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See Ya!!!

See Ya!!!

 

 Well, it’s been nice having you folks in the Episcopal Diocese of San Joaquin with us, but most of you have voted to leave the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion to start your own denomination. “But we only voted to leave the Episcopal Church and align ourselves with someone else,” you all are yelling. By leaving the Episcopal Church, you have left the Anglican Communion. It would be like the city of Fresno voting to leave the state of California and aligning itself with the state of New York. It’s sad that you all just don’t get it. I still just don’t understand why those who are so unhappy in the Episcopal/Anglican Church simply just don’t leave and either join or start their own denomination. Oh I know why they won’t. It’s because they realize that they will loss power. This fight really has nothing to do with homosexuality or women being ordained, it has to do with Power. They realize that they won’t have the power and influence that they have now.

 

 I hope that everyone has a enjoyable Christmas and Joyous Kwanzaa. I am hoping that maybe this year when I wish my Pastor a Joyous Kwanzaa he will not be rude to me like he was last year. What he did was basically racist.

 

 

I know that I haven’t been keeping this thing up with posts, but I think that it would be much better served if I only wrote from time to time with things of substance then with mindless plat. Hopefully after the holidays I will write on here more often.

 

Well here is hoping and praying that you and yours have a supreme Christian Holiday.

 

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Do not be astonished, brothers and sisters, that the world hates you

“Do not be astonished, brothers and sisters, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life because we love one another. Whoever does not love abides in death. All who hate a brother or sister are murderers, and you know murderers do not have eternal life abiding in them. We know love by this, that he laid down for life for us – and we ought to lay down our lives for one another.” -1 John 3:13-16

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Over the last year or so, I have been wondering if staying in the Episcopal Church is worth it. I mean with all of the stuff going on in the Anglican Communion it has made wanting to stay very hard. The Episcopal Church is the church that I was born into and have been a member of all of my life.

The thing that is bothering me is the Orthodox side of the church. The Episcopal Church is a denomination that is run similar to congress, but instead of a Senate we have a House of Bishops, and instead of a House of Representatives we have a House of Deputies. But it seems as though the Primates from many of the other Provinces of the Communion and the Orthodox of the Episcopal Church don’t seem to understand that it requires the vote of both houses to make major changes in the church here.

 <>They seem to have a problem with a couple of things, one not more than the other, but through their actions that are showing that they have hate in there hearts. Oh they claim that it isn’t hate that they have, and if this is true, then they must have fear. The actions over the last few years that the Episcopal Church have done over the last 30 or so years have let the world know that this denomination is a church that follows in the way that that the Holy Trinity has guided it. The were upset with the church permitting the ordination of women saying that it is against the teachings of the Bible, but if you look at the life of Jesus you will see that women lead when men were afraid to lead. Was it not the women who showed up at the crucifixion? Was it not the women who showed up to discover the tomb was open? When were the men? 

<>Not to long ago, a court in Southern California ruled in favor of the Episcopal Church (The Diocese of Los Angeles) in a property dispute over three congregations that left the Episcopal denomination. I think that I have written this here before, but it really makes me wonder if they are Christians. To me, if they were Christians they would stay and fight for the things that they believe in within the denomination. These people are like the faux sports fans of teams. These are the same people who when the team is losing aren’t showing up to the stadiums supporting their team, but the second that the team starts winning they claim to be the teams biggest fans. To me a true fan of a team is the one who attends the game when the team has had a losing season and stays through the entire game even in the worse of weather. I think that these congregations and Bishops would be like those who followed Jesus proclaiming him the savior, but were also amongst those who yelled and screamed to crucify him before Pilate.  <>

What is even sadder is the fact that many of these congregations that are leaving are trying to associate with churches in Nigeria and Uganda. Don’t these people realize that a large number of scams and other rip offs are coming from these two countries? I really wonder how many of these congregations will look at their bank accounts in a couple of years only to find that they have been totally cleaned out?  <>

I was reading an article talking about the Anglican Communion, and it pointed out something very interesting. It said that about 1/3 of the money that the communion operates with comes from the Episcopal Church. Now think about it. The Communion has some 77 million members, with 2 million being member of ECUSA. So it means that about 2.6% are providing a good portion of the money that goes into spreading the Gospels and doing great works around the world, and that doesn’t include additional moneys that ECUSA, its Dioceses, and congregations also spends in other ways. I really wonder how much damage to Christianity will be damaged if the Episcopal Church is removed from the Communion? How many children will starve to death because they will not longer be provided the meals that they once were by the moneys provided by the Episcopal Church?

Then I wonder, how much more work will the Episcopal Church be able to handle and support through its membership in the WCC? What would the Anglican Communion say and want to do if the Episcopal Church invested its moneys into organizations that find cures for cancer, AIDS, and SIDS? Or comes up with a way to end world hunger?  <>

I am sure that if the Episcopal Church is removed that some of the others within the Communion will think about leaving, and I am sure that some within the Episcopal Church will choose to leave it. It seems that the people complaining both within and out of ECUSA who are complaining and demanding responses from the Bishops fail to realize that the Episcopal Church is a democracy. The Anglican Communion is demanding a response about the actions of ECUSA by September 30. I think that if the Bishops should response, that they should make it clear that their response only represents the Bishops and not the Laity. They need to make it clear that they are a very small minority within the church here, and that the House of Deputies may choose to respond by saying that they reject what the Bishops say.  <>

With all of the stuff that is going on, I wondered if I should stay in the Episcopal Church. I think that my stay in the Episcopal Church will be for the rest of my life, but I think that my involvement within it will depend on the actions of the Bishops. For the church to stay in the Anglican Communion is not important to me, but I feel that the Bishop should stand up to what and how the Episcopal Church is. The Episcopal Church is following the ways that the Holy Trinity is guiding it, not the ways that man wants for it to go. I am a Christian first, and an Anglican second.

 

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A Rant of a friend

Below is a rant of a friend of mine. As much as I love her, I kind of wish that she had a sibling who was the total opposite of her, for I have heard enough sermons by her father about the wonderful things that she has done. Now I know that she isn't as good as her parents think that she is, but she is a wonderful person that I think greatly of.

Check out her Blog

- Rant, rant, rant!!

Ok, so this is going to be a bit of a rant.

I recently came across a discussion regarding homosexuality online. It started out pleasantly enough, then degraded a bit into "sin" talk. I am always disturbed by people who profess to be Christians and yet they 'hate' those that don't live the same lifestyle.

I was raised by Christian parents, in fact my father is a priest. I was taught that "alternative lifestyles" (a term I didn't hear until I was older), were fine and dandy providing they weren't hurtful to anyone. That just because I didn't live that way didn't make it wrong, just different.

My mother had many gay friends, I had friends with one parent, friends with gay/lesbian parents, friends who lived with their grandparents, friends who lived in foster care, friends who were only children, the youngest child, the oldest, the middle, lived in blended families, some had dogs, some cats, some pet snakes. I had friends who were white, black, Indian, Asian, mixed with everything. I had friends who were on welfare, some were rich, middle class, or just plain poor. I grew up with legal immigrants, illegal immigrants, people whose family came on the Mayflower, and some who came to the USA when they were 15 or older, some were adopted. Let's see, Jewish friends, Catholic, Episcopal, Methodist, Muslim, Wiccan, Agnostic, Atheist, Lutheran, Greek Orthodox, etc........I could go on. Here's what I don't understand. If I grew up with all of these people, all of these lifestyles, differences, both physical, emotional, economic.....which is the "alternative" lifestyle?!?

I mean seriously....If I look back at my childhood, my parents, and ONE other family I grew up with were the only ones with parents who were married, had been married prior to our conception and birth, and who were our natural parents. <----This was the "alternative" to everyone and everything I saw around me. I was the freak, I was the weird one, I still am.

So why in society is that the family dynamic/life dynamic/love dynamic/sex dynamic that everyone feels is "normal and okay"? Can someone explain it to me?

Oh, wait I know.....the bible says so, right?!? And we are a bible loving country in the good old USA, right?!?

Don't get me wrong, I love the bible, it's teaching, and stories, but really?!? That's the reasoning? Doesn't it also say not to eat pork? But on T.V. it says pork is the other white meat. Every Christian church function I've gone to has pork products. Doesn't the bible also say to rest on the Sabbath? But come on all the best sales are on the weekends! Hmmm, what else does the bible say to do that we as "Christians" don't follow. Why is it that we get to pick and choose what we want to believe in the bible, then we point to it as our moral compass, when we as a people, religious group, don't follow all of it's tenants?

But then it also says to love our neighbor, to turn the other cheek, and to do unto others.....but then we often choose to disregard those teachings too. Why do we choose the negative to live by rather than the positive? How can a Christian person say, "I hate the sin but love the sinner", there should be no hate.

How can you hate someone for loving someone else?!? Shouldn't we embrace any love? Shouldn't we celebrate positive feelings in this world? I just don't understand how you can hate/dislike someone for who they have sex with. Why? I want someone to explain this to me without the excuse of "because the bible says so". The bible says a LOT of things that you don't follow, how did you come to the conclusion that THAT particular issue is the one you should grab onto?

Personally, if you love someone, and that someone loves you back, the RIGHT ON! GOOD FOR YOU! Why is that my business or my concern?

I see things day in and day out at my job that baffle the mind and would assault the sensibilities of anyone in the "general public". Then I go home, surf the net, watch t.v. try to escape, and what do I see? The "normal" people, the "Christian" people who are bagging on others, spreading hatred and discontent. People who are trying to divide, who think their way is the only way, who say they are Americans and Christians, yet they want everyone to live their way, because obviously that is the "correct" way.

It's getting to the point that I go to work to escape from the "real world". Because at least there, I know who I'm dealing with, I know what I'm getting. And the people I work with know that they aren't perfect, know that there are different ways of living that are good, and just. Don't hate me because I'm different than they are.

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Are We Like Sheep?

“All of us are like sheep: We have wandered away from God. All of us have turned to our own way. And the Lord has placed on his servant the sins of all of us.” - Isaiah 53:6

 

June 2, 2007 was a good day for me, in that I went to Grace Cathedral for the Ordination Service, and came out thinking about something. I will have to give credit my Bishop Marc Andrus for making me think about this, for it was his sermon that brought it to my mind. Bishop Marc’s sermon dealt with Sheep and Shepards. Even though he didn’t talk about the topic, I began to think about the Anglican Communion, and more about the Diocese of California.

There is a wonderful book titled “The Way Of The Wolf”, by Martin Bell. It’s a collection of stories, poems and songs that are kind of like the parables of Jesus, but written in modern language and in some cases modern versions. Now I love to read short stories, and this is a book that has a wonderful collection of them. One of the stories is called “”Rag-Tag Army”. It talks about God having trouble keeping his army together as they travel, for groups within the army keep doing different things, and God has to stop what he is doing to get everyone back in step so that they can get to where they are suppose to be going. God is the Shepard, and the army is his sheep.

Another thing that came to mind is a song from Handel’s Messiah called “Are We Like Sheep?” As the song runs through my head, I wonder if the Episcopal Church has gone astray? Has this diocese gone astray from the teachings of Jesus? Have I gone astray from the Orthodox teachings that I was taught in the congregation that I grew up in when I was living in another diocese?

When God created the world, one of the first things that he gave to all of his creatures was the freedom of choice. We as humans always say that he gave just us the freedom of choice, but if you really think about it, he gave the choice to all of his creatures. Just recently a couple of humpback whales made the choice of going up the San Pablo Bay towards Sacramento. Some people will say that they got lost, but how do we really know that they were lost? They could of chose to stay with the others in their pod, but they chose to venture off to take another route.

As I read the stuff that is going on in the Anglican Communion, it makes me wonder if the ECUSA and the Anglican Church of Canada are sheep that have wondered off and the rest of the communion is trying to bring us back or are we sheep that have headed off to begin a new herd?

I have often heard the Church of England referred to as the “Mother Church” of the Anglican Communion, and one of its children is the Episcopal Church. If we look at the traditional role of a mother, it is like that of a Shepard in that she guides her children (sheep) through life to the point where they go out on their own. She protects her sheep as best as she can.

With what is going on in the Anglican Communion, is the Episcopal Church like many teenagers who think that they know everything and have rebelled against the mother church, or has the Episcopal Church grown into adulthood and mother is not ready to let her child go out into the world to live there own life?

Most parents do what they can to keep their child out of trouble and away from dangers, trying to keep their child from going through the same mistakes that they went through. Oh this is a great thing to do, but in some cases in order for a child to learn about things in life they need to make the same errors that their parents did in order to learn the same lesson. Parents tell kids not to do this or that because it is wrong, but fail to really explain why so that the child understands. People will say to kids not to use drugs, but will fail to tell kids that they used them at one point in life, and some of the things that they experienced as a result of using them.

But I am getting way off track on what my Bishop got me thinking about.

Being an Afro-Anglican in the Diocese of California is an interesting matter. In the diocese that I grew up in (The Diocese of Pennsylvania,) Black Episcopal clergy was a common thing to see. Don’t get me wrong, as they were in every congregation, but as a child it wasn’t that uncommon to come across one working not only in Black congregations, but in other congregations also. In this diocese we have black clergy in three congregations on a full time basis. Two of the clergy are priest, and the other is a Deacon. Now I know of five other black clergy in the diocese, two are retired, and at least one of the other two serves as an Interim.

Even though there are not many black youth within the diocese, sadly with the few Black Clergy in the diocese the black youth in this diocese really don’t see examples that becoming an ordained clergy person in this diocese as a viable option. This is also true of the Hispanic youth also.

This is a diocese that has only four Hispanic ministries, and not a single congregation with it’s own property. But when it comes to the Blacks within this diocese, we only have one that is looked upon as an Afrocentric congregation.

I am not 100% sure, but I believe that we have only five Asian congregations, with four of them with their own properties. Sadly though, like with the Blacks, they only have one Deacon of Asian ancestry, and I don’t think that we have a single Hispanic that is a Deacon.

The thing that each of the ethnic groups need to do is to become Sheppard's in getting the youth to realize that becoming a Clergy Person is a viable and fulfilling life that is worth considering. We as people of color need to show up at Ordination Services, welcome and show our support to the newly ordained that are of color. Yes we should show our support for ALL of the newly ordained, but with the small number of new ethnic seminarians in this country, we need to support them all.

I think that the only thing worse than the lack of people of color not becoming clergy is the major lack of people who happen to be physically handicap not being ordained.  Even though we of color are handicapped because of our color, the fact that someone is in a wheelchair, or having to use crutches, or is blind, doesn’t mean that they can’t bring forth the Good News. How can we even call ourselves an inclusive church when we deny access to people because they need a bit of help because of physical problems? Now I know that not all churches are set up to be able to handle a wheelchair in the altar area, but as we build more and more churches, it is something that we can put into the plans.

But overall, spend some time thinking about how we as a Christians are Sheppard’s in the world? How can we as a denomination be Sheppard’s to the world? How can the congregation that you are in be a Sheppard to our surrounding community? How can you be a Sheppard to those in your life? Who has been a Sheppard to you?

“And Jesus, when he came out, saw much people, and was moved with compassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and he began to teach them many things.” - Mark 6:34

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