EMERGING FROM THE BLACK HOLE…..

A friend of mine named Gina wrote this, and I found this to be a very beautifully written peice. I just had to share this with you.

EMERGING FROM THE BLACK HOLE.....

By Gina AKA Dream Wizard

C ompletely wrapped in the blanket of misery and pain, finding yourself in the destruction of utter despair and disdain.  Fallen again, into the virtual reality of the bottomless pit, the devil's turf, here you now sit.   

The Grim Reaper has now come to your mind for a visit, playing musical chairs with your thoughts and emotions with intent to create chaos and commotion.  Your up is now down and your down, downer that not even the blue bill can stop the rock of inner destruction from rolling downhill.  As if the gravity of saneness has been culled from the ground.   Your world is now twisted, distorted and turned all around, as if the inner logical compass just spins all around.   All feelings of sense of self now stolen from the thief in the night who has replaced your saneness by indifference, self hate, no wisdom forthright. 

All friends good wishes just chatter and noise creeping to a full blown migraine of nonsense in a box of ill-fitted ploys.  Pandora's box of minds tyranny,  has now taken flight, like a winged bat on a mission soaring into the night.    The full moon has risen and has raised hell with your plight.  Your thoughts are of darkness and won't turn off with the light.  You are of ill fit of the mind and of all but distraught,  feeling bruised and all beat up yet it is only yourself,  that you fought. 

Deep down into the black hole of nothingness in a place called nowhere.  The stillness of nothing, absent of all, nothing good worth hearing, not even the sound of the cricket's call.  Closed out from the world, removed from it all. 

Alone, without comfort, from the deafening silence of BLACK,  only sleep can bear witness from the self-defeating thoughts which attack. 

Now, the time has come to scratch your way from a place of hell, a hole so deep, you no longer know just how deep you fell.  What toll must be paid, coming up from such hole, climbing up the walls of self-defeating dirt that has covered your soul.   Upward and onward you climb but the earth seems to crumble under your grasp, you fall from the ledge of ill thoughts from your past.

You grab onto the walls of dirt to lift yourself up but the sand slips from your clenched fingertips.   Push and climb, you dredge forward  two paces up only to  fall back down one, perhaps it would of been best, if hadn't begun.  

You remind yourself to think of a better future, a brighter day await, only to ponder such theory of who has taken such bait.  Hope you decide is better than none, so again you attempt the climb now as an Olympian with a prize to be won.   

You claw your way to the surface inch by inch from sheer determination and fortitude. A profound mental image etched in your newly found attitude.

Fiinally, after what seems like eternal damnation, you pull yourself out of the wretched black hole, feeling alive, you dust off your soul.  Your face now turned up to that glaring light, you quickly squint in pain and cover your eyes from that which is blinding bright.    As your pupils retract and you stand upright, your body adjust's to the brilliant light.....SUNSHINE.

Welcome Back.

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The Fish Tank, Part III

Ok, it has been a bit since I last updated about the fish, so hear is what is going on. one of the black ones died, which means that I am down to three, one of each color. Yellow and Orange seem to stick together most of the time, which the Black one joining in from time to time. I think that I am going to have to go down to the pet store where I bought these and take a look at what is going on in there tanks. As I think back on it, it seems as though the Orange and yellow ones stuck together in the tank, and the black ones stuck together much of the time. 

 I'm thinking about setting the other tank up and putting the Orange and Yellow one in there, then finding some females and breeding the black one. I happen to like his tail better.

 Welp, I guess that I should get back to writing about things in the communion again on this blog. I got a shock today about something that happened in this diocese, but I want to spend a few days thinking about it and other things before writing anything.

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SWB – Shopping While Black

 At times I find it funny when Whites have a problem believing that something like this really goes on when they are told that it is.

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Racism in A Fish Tank? Part II

 Things have been interesting over the last few days. One of the yellows and one of the oranges died. The Orange died first, and the lone orange tried hanging with both groups. He mainly ended up with the yellow ones. But it was still interesting, as the guppies still stuck together color wise. 

 I lost the yellow one yesterday. I couldn't find the body, then suddenly it popped up today. but things have been interesting in that one of the black ones has spent some time hanging with Yellow and Orange, but for the most part the Blacks are hanging together.

 I guess that I would have to get a number of different colored ones to see what happens, but I think that I will stick with the ones that I have now.

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Racism In A Fish Tank?

 A few weeks ago I decided that I wanted to get some pet fish. Now I have had pet fish for the last 7 years, but not to long ago I gave my two angel fish to a sweet lady that I had met as I had wanted to get rid of my fish and tanks. I had a couple of tanks here that each contained 1 fish. Finally I emptied one of the tanks and moved it lone occupant on tje larger tank with the other one. now I had a small catfish and a "Flying Fox" in the tank. Nothing really exciting, and the tank was mostly empty with two fish that didn't do anything.

 Now I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I sent a message to the woman that I had given the Angel Fish to, but she has been away and hadn't replied. Oh what to do.

 I was sitting and watching TV as I surfed, and decided that I would get some guppies. Guppies would be interesting, as that breed real fast, so that would mean that I wouldn't have to go back to the store to get more as they died off. But did I really want to do that? I know from time to time I like to get something different to look at, but did I want to just stick with guppies, and what would I do if the tank got over populated? I decided to do some research on the Internet. I noticed that some people kept only male guppies because they found them to more colorful than the females. I then remembered that PetsMart sold them by sex. I also remembered that they had different breeds of guppies, one of which is called a Delta Guppy. More research. I had pretty much made up my mind on Deltas, but then I came across a site that showed different tail types. I saw what I wanted.

 I went PetsMart and took a look. The Deltas were nice, but I fell in love with the Fancies. I saw a yellow one in the tank that was being picked on by some of the others in the tank. It was the only yellow one in the tank. I had the girl pick that one and I liked the black ones, so I got one of them. I brought them home and put them into the tank. About an hour later, the yellow one began to pick on the black one. I had to laugh. After some time they would swim friendly with each other.

 This morning I awoke and looked into the tank. I could find the yellow one, but not the black one. A few hours later I found the black one on the floor behind the tank dead. I was a little upset, but I had planned on buying some more today, so I figured that I would replace him with another black one. 

 When I got to the store, I decided that I would buy two black ones, two orange ones, and one yellow one. I came home with them and put them into the tank with the lone yellow. After a few minutes the lone yellow came over and joined the others, even giving them a tour of the tank.

 Not to long ago, the light for the tank turned off as scheduled. I noticed something that I found interesting. The fish were hanging together bases on color. The Black ones were together, the Yellow ones were together, and the Orange ones were together. Yes they were all close to each other, but they had paired off into there own section. When one would swim away some, so would the other, but never two colors. I got to thinking about them as I have watched them since the "tour" ended. They have been sticking together based on color. It makes me wonder if this is some kind of racism in the tank? Are fish in a way Racist? If this is true, it makes me wonder if racism is really something that is natural. I'm going to have to keep an eye on this over the next few days.

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Who is a minority?

 I was watching a short film today at the San Francisco Jewish Film Festival website. The name of the film is "Four Short Films about Love". It's a really interesting film dealing mainly about coming of age. It's a really good film that I think people should watch. But as I watched it, something was said during it that has me wondering, "Who is a minority?" 

 Being Black, I have heard all of my life that I am a minority in this country. I accept that fact, and embrace it. I have no problem with it because in this country Blacks are just a minority in the number of people.

 Over the last few years I have heard about other groups of people referring themselves that minorities outside of racial minorities. in some cases I wonder what really makes them a minority? I have heard women referred to as being a minority, but yet in reality women are a majority of people in this country. How can a majority be a minority? The LGBT community shouts that they are a minority? In the film, one of the girls says that she is a minority because she is Jewish. I've seen where some of the conservative Anglicans in this country say that they are a minority. I've heard and seen others say that they are a minority and that they are being oppressed because of it.

 Now I can understand it when it comes to those of us who are not White, but I am wondering if the term is being thrown around to easily? Should we come up with other terms when it comes to different groups? With the way that the term is used, who in this country can't say that they aren't a minority?

 Well, this is just some "food for thought" for you to think about.

 Here is the film. I hope that you enjoy it.

Four Short Films about Love

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Our MultiCultural and Ethnicity is showing

 First I must wish Bishop Marc and his family my prayers, as they lost their beloved dog after 14 years. When Bishop Marc and Sheila made their first visit to my congregation a few years ago, they couldn't stay as long as they might have wanted to stay, for their dog wasn't doing well. Since that time, I have asked about the dog, which I think that they liked. Sadly today when I went onto Facebook, Bishop Marc had posted that his beloved dog has passed. So please keep him and his family in your prayers.

 I had to go to DioHouse yesterday for a meeting with Bishop Steven. After the meeting I headed to the bathroom, and suddenly I noticed on the walls a bunch of photographs and quotes from People of Color on the walls. It brought tears to my eyes. After years of going into that place and seeing only pictures of White males on the walls, it made me realize that the Diocese of California really does care about ALL of its people. The exhibit is up for a little while, but my hope is that the moral that I am in stays up. I don't want it to stay up because I am in it, but because it will be a reminder and will show all that this is a diocese that cares for all of its people.

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